Komapta....Gamsahamnida

Hoho...

No worries...

I know u're suffering...
we all are
Sometimes I regret for bringing this matter and fussing abt it til evrybody's hurt...

Yes...

I know how it feels to fall in love...
Been there,done that...(hehe)
I don't blame you...
who could stop LOVE?
once you're in it,it'll be hard for to go out...

hehe...and...
Don't even bother to forget him...
I've been trying to 4get for a year or so...
It's hard...

Maybe this matter has something to do me...
I always prayed to GOD that someday he'll help me 4get him..
only now I know that I can only 4get someone if my friend like him too...
It's okay if you like him..
Then,i'll tell you my experience for these past month..
we'll be like sisters...haha....chewah!
I don't want him to be the path a friendship will end..
the more I think of it
I really don't know why I would fall for a "bikin panas;trip cool" guy like him
lawak owh when I come to think abt it

and,
Maybe after this,
I can 4get him...
(i hope so)

But you know what,
when I accidently said abt the matter on FB,
actually I was signifying my past experience in F.2
(all GK know abt that story,right?and I sure u know bt that side of a story too...)
I never tot u could terasa..
and...
when you post that comment..
I realise bout our situation...
then,
that's when that matter hit me...

Once again,
I'm really sorry for bringing this up...

I'm sorry too
becoz I didnt tegur you

I hope u'll understand
What I'm going through now
Is too painful for me
I dont intend to ignore you
But somehow
I just couldn't bear to face you and him

So Forgive me!
Biannhe...

So,
even if you try to talk to me..
I still couldn't do it...
maybe I'll be acting "cold" to you...
But
after I cool down,
then I'll tegur you...
I sorry
I hope u'll understand
Maybe,
I'll want to change place anywhere in class
So that i won't face him...

Huhu..
...LOVE is a BIG word...

and
one more thing,
you r not a BIaoTCH bha...
I only said that because I read ur blog
LOL^0^
U said it in ur blog
Im just against it...
When I said "until you change"
I meant it for evryone
"you" there doesnt mean YOU..
its like a saying,
Means that people should change the attitude
that others dont like abt somebody
Maybe I wrote it using the wrong sentence...
Maybe u look at it at a different perspective...
tarik balik la tue ayat...
bikin panaz owh tue ayat...
4get it la..

I HOPE YOU READ THIS!!!

Have you ever wonder why GOD invented separation and LOVE and conflicts at the same time?

Well,i've been...

Whenever there's separation,some people would likely ask GOD "WHY?WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!??"

GOD answers(hehe..my own dialogue)

People separate only to find each other again...

Whenever there is love,people will simply said tell GOD,"I'm SO HAPPY...WILL HE BE MINE??"

God answer(hehe..my own dialogue again,dont blame GOD)

Depends,if you do something abt it..maybe he'll be urs someday...

And,
Whenever there's conflict...well..there's many type of conflicts,-work conflicts, school conflicts,family conflicts, friend conflicts and LOVE conflicts...

What im talking abt here is LOVE and FRIEND conflict combined together...

Whenever there's conflicts in the air,only then people will realise the existence of GOD and simply ask "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?"

Im not signifying anyone but ME...

Today has been a very moody day for ME...
The thing is...-I cried in church today...BIKIN MALU...
there's this uncle sat beside me was staring at me...I think the priest saw me crying too..
and the worst part is my parents were lyk kasi malu me again..huhu..jaat owh themm...My mom suddenly sang..."kasih tuhan melembut kan ginawo"..LOL....she was actually talking abt me..
because I cried during the song...
" Mengasihi,mengasihi lebih sungguh...
Tuhan lebih dulu mengasihi kepadaku...
Mengasihi,mengasihi lebih sungguh..."
Then it continues with mengampuni and menghargai...

I was really semangat to go to church today even though my dad marah2 in the car bcoz I was the last one to go into the car and my sistas is oredy late to go to Sunday.School...And I think I really learned a lot today...Very much everything abt friendship...

Well,that's what I'm having now..-a Friendship crisis-

I thank GOD becoz I'm in this situation...

EVEN THOUGH I AM REALLY HURT BY EVERY ACTION that she did...

It really hurts me most is that when he's with her-IN FRONT of me...
sometimes just a few inches from me...
It also hurt me that she oredy knew abt my feelings for him for a year and still - this could be avoided...
well,he was the one that changes me a lot..I never even cried for a guy like I did to him,I was acting kinda strange smpai my mom worried...I started acting kinda ber-jiwang *LOL* and a lil bit girlish..if dulu I only wore black clothes,now my wardrobe is full with rainbow colored shirts..

AND THE WORST IS...
the fact that he-......well,its up to her to figure it out...I even think of ending my life if I'd never see him ever again....

BUT,u know what?

I really lyk the phrase,

" EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON"

God has his own ways too...

Hey friends or anyone who have friends and ever been to this situation....

DON'T you realise that,

these situation actually contribute a lot on ur friendship?

WE FIGHT ,and WE HATE...
- only to realise how fragile our friendship is..
- lyk I said,

GOD HAS HIS OWN WAYS

THIS IS
-his way of showing us how we never cared for each other before...
- his way of showing us and reminding us to keep improvising ourselves..
-his way of showing us how bad and selfish we've been and not realising other's feeling...
- his way of showing us to get back to reality adn care for others...
- his way of telling us what to do in this situation...

Remember this song?
" Mengasihi,mengasihi lebih sungguh...
Tuhan lebih dulu mengasihi kepadaku...
Mengasihi,mengasihi lebih sungguh..."
Then it continues with mengampuni and menghargai...


The song tells me to LOVE her even though she hurts me,
tells me to FORGIVE HER even though before this,I tell myself not to forgive her...
and
to CHERISH her as my BEST FRIEND and I really hope she'll consider me as her Best friend..
Becoz lately,
It saddens me because I feel so far from her even though she's beside me...
IT saddens me more than the thing with him..

It really touched me on how it really relate with this situation..

I was really hurt by her actions and
I hope she'll never do that to anybody ever again...
It really hurts...

she's been to this situation where we get hurt bcoz there's others who lyk ur crush too...
at least ko bru skejap...
Me? I like him for a year oredy...

well,u know what..I think he lyks u too....hehe...
and Ifthings work out with you guys...
I really don't want to be the pole between u guys..
(pissstttt...*whispering* I am oredy a pole just by looking at my body...haha)

one things for sure..he'll never like me...
at least you have done something to get closer to him..
like god says ( my dialogue)
"Depends,if you do something abt it..maybe he'll be urs someday..."

and,most important!
I dont want any of us to fight...
REMEMBER: I'm the one suffering here..not you guys...
So, IT HURTS me MORE if you guys fight...

YOU ARE NOT A BIaoTCh,okay!
This is my word! Which comes from my heart!
Well,itu pun if u promise u'll change...
for the sake of others and urself...
Becoz I dont like other people messing with GK's members..
"YOU MESS WITH ONE,YOU MESS WITH US ALL"

nobody's a BIaoTCH
until she's been called that and still ACT like one
You are not a BIaoTCH....!!!
I AM SO SURE U're a good girl...
u're just innocent
*sorry to say this! but no worries..I'm innocent too bha...haha*
and naive
*even though I dont even know what naive means*

I HOPE YOU READ THIS!!!
i meant for those involve in this...

and lastly,

L-O-V-E is really a B-I-G Word!

Baby, don't blow me a-w-a-y....

I R-E-A-L-L-Y Love this song...there more I hear it,the more I realise its meant for him...

Hey,boy..You know I'm fragile..so don't blow me a-w-a-y....

Especially for HIM...
He Blow me a-w-a-y..
Sometimes he takes my breathe away..
But I know there's no chance between us..u're taken...


Solange - Sandcastle
Who would've known
The rain and the sunshine
Would Ooh Baby Baby
Build up these walls of mine?
And I can't see you or breathe you
Cause there's trouble right beneath you
It's all in the night
But ooh baby baby
Come pick me up in your ride

I'm a cool low Jane
With a skip on my feet
I play tough as nails
With my heart on my sleeve
I'm nothing but a sandcastle
Baby don't blow me away away

Baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Who would've known
The storm of my past times
Would ooh baby make me
Losing the song of the eye
And I can't believe you or read you
Cause the pleasure in your preview
It's all in your eyes
But oh Mr. DJ, baby, can you meet me out side

You're a old school dude
With a kick on your shoes
You got groove in your hand
The way you spin those tunes
I'm nothing but a sand castle
Baby don't blow me away away

Baby I know you do this to all the girls
But Baby I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Baby I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away

Ooh and just like the ocean
Lays right there behind me
Look over my sandcastle
And there's a sight to see
Don't blow me away
Don't blow me baby
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ooh baby

I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
Bay ba ba ba ba-by
Don't blow me away Baby
I know you do that to all the girls
You know that I'm fragile
Ooh ooh ooh ooh hoo hoo ooh
And bay ba ba ba ba-by
Please don't blow me away
Away Away
Ba ba-da, ba ba ooh ooh
Away away x2
Ba ba-da, ba ba ooh ooh
Ba ba-da, ba ba ooh ooh

this song was sang by Beyonce's sister, Solange Knowles...It was an old song...so,if you think you've heard it somewhere last year,you're right...

TO...

Especially to all mothers and grandmothers,

Wishing you,

So,
Hug and Kiss Your Mother
Tomorrow

Well,maybe when u're reading this..it will be "TODAY"

But remember,
Mother's day is not only ONE day..

But it supposed to be 355/356 days..

which means,
Everyday's a Mother's day

if...

If i were to go
If i were to get close to you
What would you think?

I don’t have the courage.
If you were to go,
If you were to leave.

I don’t know how to send you away
It keeps hanging on my mind
I know i am a fool and can only watch you from afar

Your heart may look away from me…
And so we could even become strangers
Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you because …
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

If you were to come
To come near me.
What would i do ?
I really don’t know
Because im like a fool.

Even though i know looking is all i can do
Your heart may look away from me
And so we could even become strangers

Just like a fool i can’t even say that i love you because….
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad
Because i’m like a fool
Even though i can’t say i love you
We’re afraid the wait that comes upon us
After we meet will be painful and sad.

Ever...

Ever wonder what people think of you?
Good impression or otherwise?
Wishing it would be good?
What if it's bad?

Ever been to a place where people hate you?
Ever been friends with friends who actually hate you?
Ever felt you've been controlled?
Ever been to the feeling of making people happy and forgets to enjoy yourself??

Have you EVER feel like no one cares about you?
Ever feel like drowning in the sea of LIES?
Ever feel like you're the only one whose doing everything FOR EVERYONE
and never for you?
Ever been to a situation where you wish you never done THAT thing whatever it is?
Ever wish you could change everything?
Ever wish you could stay home and never go to school?

Ever wish your friendship last forever?
Ever wish he would eventually like you?
Ever wish you were in her place?
Ever wish you could have the courage to talk to someone "new"?

and LASTLY,

EVER WISH PEOPLE WOULD LIKE YOU AS YOU ARE
AND NEVER CHANGE ANYTHING ABT YOU?

The Blues~

Ever been to weekly blues or at least, daily blues??

Ever experiencing it all in one day??

If you have,then you must know how I feel...
Well,
Its been a very tiredsome week for me...
*sorry if my grammar sucks or wrong spelling*

I've been hurt psyhically and emotionally
I hurt my knee because of kawad kaki and standing in choir for too long
Both event didnt give any good to me
Been practicing choir for a long time now,and
it turns out,our choir didnt win any place...
And a team from Maktab Sabah
won the 3rd place
the performance is among the best I've seen la
for Konven St. Francis...Congratz for ur outstanding performance
u deserve no.1,
*i think*hope not because of branding!*
if bcoz of branding,
then,there's no way SMSM gonna win Choir 4 EVA!
i'll die...
and SMK Tansau? u deserve no.2 too....
i like ur performance....

SO,in order to get SMSM title in the choir back,
next year,we'll be the one screaming like hell
and be the one who come back school with a smile...

And today,kena halau from kaWAD team...
it was rather dissapointing....
but what to do?
they are right...they've done kawad practice until "perfect"
so,we cannot just jump into the team without practicing
well,I missed the practice many time because of choir...
But,today they've done their best and it's worth it..
*although I heard rumours that 4A won no.5 title*
what can u expect?Our boys is not cooperative well
they act like silly selfish "kids"

And I've been very aggrassive this week

I make fights instead of peace
I make enemy instead of friends
I make anger instead of solitude-ness
I make tears instead of laughes
and I make HATE instead of LOVE

I was hurt
And no one knew abt it more than God
everyone have been through sadness but never this
I know everyone knew SAD
but never this

Its been a very ups and downs week for me...
I've seen new teachers, new lovers,new rumours,new gossips
*but i aint spreading them*I know they arent true*
but most of all,
I've learned new challenge
new experience
and
a wholesome of
life changing lesson
*which reminds me of choral speaking*

but life must goes on...

every cloud has a silver lining,
look at the better side of life....

Yesterday is history;
tomorrow is a mystery;
today is a gift,
that is why it is called "present"

and lastly,

Stop judging people or you'll never had the chance to love them

Another Malaysia Book of Record for SMSM!

huh! today was stressfully-hot day...Luckily, Redaksi was assigned to take pictures on that event which make us escaped the heat...hahaha....sorry for those who suffer...I really have fun today taking pictures..I never thought that taking would be fun..teehee! Anyway,here's a few snaps of the event..

*ikut tune lagu "ini la barisan kt"*
Ini la barisan kita~barisan gong skolah~

Teacher M A! and the Gangs~Ini la pasukan pemungut Tin..kesian...
*tdk termasuk ckgu Hanis and the other cikgu..sorry,sy lupa nma dia*



Jessie dgn tekunnya..
Gerakan Pengawas of the day

Cat: Bluekz..

Nie la juara bertahan yg berjaya overcome
The heat of the sun today!

Apa yg lawak sangat nie?

Uich,apa yg korang tgk tu?

oi,yg tgh tu..bida..


GENK KARATZ!!!
We made it!
Gio Blur >.<

That's all for now...
BYk lagi but malas mo upload...

TaGGed by AmazingLy-always-Happy Joanne

FOUR NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU :
Jess
Jack.Ass(leona tu ah..haha)
Jessica
Kakak Jullian

FOUR MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE :
25 June
28 June
3 Feb
18 June!(LOL!)


FOUR THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES :
Turn on the computer?!
Listening to songs
Do Add. Maths...huhu
Take my bath..?!

FOUR WAYS TO BE HAPPY :
Family!
Friends!
DANCING!
JOKES!

FOUR PEOPLE YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST :
Late grandfather
MY friends from TAWAU!!
Teachers from Tawau
The Om and aunti Siti!(ma tukangz gaji from tawau...miss them so MUCHHHH)


FOUR GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE :
A cam
A vid cam
A new hp
MOney...Cash$$$KA-ching$!haha..[$.$]

FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES :
ONline,
GaMing;
danCing;
Sports!

FOUR PLACES OR COUNTRY YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION :
England
Hawaii
Paris
New Zealand

FOUR FAVOURITE DRINKS :
Leong Foon Susu
Milo
Teh C Special
Vanilla Milkshake

FOUR THINGS ALWAYS FOUND IN YOUR BAG/HANDBAG :
Purse
Hphone
Clip
Hairband

FOUR FAVOURITE COLORS :
White
Black
Brown
Pink

TOP FOUR HANGOUTS :
My home!
School;
Shopping mall..
DongZ..LOL

TOP FOUR U LOVE SO MUCH :
Parent
Ma Siblings
Ma Family
My Friends

TOP FOUR "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU :
God
My Family
My Friends
My Crush

TOP FOUR WHO YOU WILL TAG
Leona
Celynn..
Mc
Yvonne@StarCandy..hehe..

Good Girls Gone Bad!!!

OMG!!! I will never forget the day I went to the coolest party EVER!!!!! Joanne, u r the coolest!!! I'm still remembering that day owhh.... I drank red wine and guess what?? I got drunk and dance!! OMG! I never been so confident ever in my whole life...maybe its the effect of the alcohol...

I was really having fun until I forgot abt taking pictures...Fireworks and music pumpin' and dance...what could possibly go wrong..and Joanne's was fussing and stressing abt people will got bored...Who could possibly be bored at Joanne's party?! It was the coolest..I dare whoever dare to say the party's boring..haha..anyway,

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN JOANNE!!!

EXPERIENCED THE UNEXPERIENCE

People say u’ll experience a whole new world with different people…It happened last Friday when me, Celynn, Mye and Mich went to KK to look for Joanne’s birthday present…hehe…(busted for not buying it earlier)…Actually the trip was only consist of me, celynn and mye but Mye force Mich to go too…So, that’s how the adventure started… We started walking to the bus station near the “Pasar Tamu” and along the journey, it was like taking a trip to the walk filled with perverts/bad people… no wonders bha coz Mich was wearing a skirt that day… So,we walked even faster, avoiding the perverts around us..then,we arrived at the station..exhausted and decided to take the air-conditioned bus..to our surprised that, Ryan,Zach, Isaac Zebedee and Advent were there too..on the same bus..so me and Celynn went for the front sit..and I slept like a baby after that…

Then,we arrived at Wisma kebudayaan(If I’m not mistaken)…Then we and the boys go on our separate ways…don’t know where they gone to,maybe the cyber or movies,who cares…

Then, we went to cp…I almost got hit by a taxi owh..Luckily, the driver is not speeding… We walk and decided to go to warisan first…Our first stop was SOX World..Celynn wanted to buy new socks as she was suffering like He** without her socks…then,we went to look for Joanne’s present…YeAY! We went into Roxy *God,that was the first time I entered that shop* and I was so mesmerized by the stuff there…I wish I had a lot of money..I’m really dying to buy those Roxy’s hat and handbag…which cost like RM99.90 and RM149.90..hu hu…but if I had bought it that day,I will never regret it..It’s worth buying,right?...but i didnt..huhu..Then,we went to F.O.S...there we found the give for Joanne..*hope she like it*...after that,went to cp to eat...the first restaurant we went was like so annoying..the people won't layan us and even layan other people..I'm guessing there the religious type,won't layan the christian type of people..huhu...its very sad when there's still people like these in the world...why can't we united as a Malaysian?!huh... Anyway,mye started counting til 20 sec coz if they still don't want to layan us,we leave..and guess what?they still don't layan us..huhu..then, we wnt to the food court..ordered chicken rice...we want to ordered cold water instead of fancy drinks to save money and the confusing part..the guy said "we don't have air sejuk" and we were like "what?!"..how could you not have water if u r making drinks..senang ja bah mo bt air sejuk,just put some ice in the water..so we ordered juices and milo and lemon tea ping and teh c ping*if im not wrong*...still wondering why they could serve juice if they dont have water...weird owh...

While eating, mich started telling stories abt how she saw rats running around in the food court..and I was feeling disgust by the condition there...eww..but its okay la..and there's guys there whistling at us..maybe at Mich and Mye...

Lastly,after eating, we went jalan2...window shopping and I bought a shower cream at elianto and it smells good...I finally found the perfect scent for me...yeay!! I love the green tea scent...don't poser people!hehe..please...I really love this an I hate it when u r walking around with its smell..*hehe..kidding..just being greddy...muahahaha*

Then, went back home using a bus..and again,I slept in the bus...so tired ba...but it was an unforgetable day..I really have fun *dunno abt the others,hope they have fun as I am*...We entered a shop,which is gold-glittered in colour..It was so cool,if only we could take pictures of that store...and we even pose on the banners in warisan..LOL...sorry for not taking lots of pictures...I hope Celynn would give some of her pictures to me...I'm really sad that I don't own any camera as my friends have...Anyway,that's all for now...ta ta...